Saturday, June 8, 2013


APRIL 25, 2013

Haha I loved your bilingual attempt, Madre.

Also I have been feeling alot better than I was. There are some lingering symptoms. But I have received two Priesthood blessings, one of which said that I will be healed from all of this :)

So I hold on to that heavenly promise.
AND I am being transferred to Dove Creek Colorado tomorrow! I am on "special assignment" and will be Sister Macaldo :) She is from the Philippines! Basically, she is a temple square sister who has come
to our mission to experience tracting and teaching lessons..all that good stuff. And President has asked me to basically show her a good time this last transfer in our mission.
My time is almost up. I spent to much time reading e-mails and not enough time responding. I am sorry to the people I didnt respond to!!

Oh!! also we have been told that we shouldnt have blogs...again for safety purposes. We will have to come up with another way of getting this info out and about so please be brain storming.

I love you!!!

MAY 6, 2013
Thanks for the kind words, mom. When we talked last night you apologized and said that your words would be redundant. However...Yes, they were the same words you spoke last night but regardless they bring me so much comfort. Thank you.

Again, I feel so heavy that words are hard to get out. But I know with a sureness that Chaz is ok...Bishop Olsen called me today and told me about a friend that he lost when he was a younger man. During this hard time Bishop Olsen's Bishop told him that "some people become as good as their ever going to become in this life and so the Lord snatches them up and takes them to their next phase of existence" That wasn't the direct quote but it was close. Bishop said that those words stuck with him and now they will stick with me. I know that I have felt Chaz near me these past few days and believe with all my heart that there really and truly is life after physical death.

Thank you again for you love. mom.

Lori e-mailed me.

I can't lie though...this whole experience with grief and loss has made me feel a little guilty. It makes me think back to when you were suffering the death of Mike...I could have been more patient with your suffering and I wasn’t. Now I know how it feels to have people not understand the pain you felt. Please forgive me for that.

MAY 13, 2013

Hey mama,

Since we talked last night I spent a little more time writting people back who's email had been sitting in my box for quite sometime. Hope that's ok? Also it was SO SO SO good talking to you last night! You sound great. How are the adventures of figuring out your new camera going?

Also..I have a thought. I think my garment waist band may be hindering my that possible. The elastic band goes right acrossed my tummy parts.

But asked if I need anything. Music is always a go to. that and those little nylon sockies and granola bars :)
I love you mama. And don't want you to worry about me, ok? replace the worries with prayer :)

MAY 20, 2013

Haha Yea! How do people in Aztec know about missionaries in Dove Creek. haha that's funny.
Also no more news about Chazer. But he was Cremated and my dad received his ashes in the mail the other day. They will spread the ashes in Sedona, Arizona. It was one of Chaz's favorite places. There is a lot of positive vibes in that place.
And about the garments, a bigger size might be good. Maybe just 3 pairs and we'll see how that goes.

That is SOOOOOO great that Mckale is sending those papers in. wow....I'm so proud of her. Please let her know that many trials will come to her in these next few months and that she need only pray to her Father for the strength to overcome. Patti and Ron will be empty nesters!!

How is Mitchell? Jacob? and Jack??? Also I will check the mail everyday this week and get that insurance letter sent off to you asap. Poor maxi. She lasted a lot longer than we thought she would. What's the game plan now that she is done-zo?

Our 3 new investigators are good. 1 is being difficult haha we can't seem to get a second appointment with them but we will see the other two tomorrow.

Also we get to do service tomorrow at a mini track meet called field day!!! I'm so excited :):):):) Also we spoke in Sacrament meeting yesterday! Love doing that. I spoke about faith hope and charity and how having the 3 will improve life and prepare us for the 2nd coming of the Savior.

Lastly, thank you for sending that package.

My tummy has really been wicked these past few weeks but I know it will get better.

Everyday I feel Chaz near and feel the Lord's tender mercies all around.

OH! and there are zero wards in Dove Creek. We have one little Branch. But the goal is to

establish a branch here in Dove Creek. We go to church in Utah right now and it's about

a 3 minute drive.

I love you! Talk to you next week

JUNE 6, 2013
Poem I sent to Jade after Chaz past away.....

"Native American Prayer"

I give you this one thought to keep -

I am with you still - I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush,

I am the sweet uplifting rush,

of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft starts that shine at night.

Do not think of me as gone -

I am with you still in each new dawn.

Author: Native American Prayer

From: Jade Swayne <>

Subject: Re: Hi Junebug!!

To: "Penny Paxman" <>

Date: Monday, June 3, 2013, 12:58 PM

First question....Did you write that poem that you sent me? It really hit me. Made me cry and everything. And not any of that sniffle sniffle pat your eyes dry kind of crying. It was more like tears pouring down your face combo-ed with snot kind of crying. Thank you. And those pictures. Thank you thank you!

Also you asked me about that camera cord I don't know what kind I need. But I do know that I have a Sony Cyber-shot camera....maybe that helps??....We aren't going to Wal-mart on P-day's takes up most of our day and seeing as we have been working so hard out here in the DC it's hard to skip out on that day of rest. You start looking like the walking dead hahaha.

BUT! good news :) I go a call from President Batt on Saturday and he has asked me to be a trainer again :) So there will be 3 sisters in Dove Creek until the 12th. That's when my perfect companion, Sister Macaldo goes home. Then it will be myself and the new sister hitting the streets. I feel a little nervous but very excited :) We will drive into Farmington at 5 and spend the night with the sister that are over Kylie's ward. Then on Tuesday morning we will go to the mission office for the trainers meeting.

Oh before I forget!! How old is Simone going to be tomorrow??!!

Also I think I should be good with the garments I have. My tummy isn't as bloated as it was those past weeks. Oh and could you do some Gale bladder research for me. What do these things do? A lot of people wonder if that's what is causing all of the haul-a-bu-louuuu in my bowels. It would be worth a gander to see if that's the case, right?

Can you print this out and give it to Mitch :)


the last two are videos.

Also thank them for the letters they sent. they were so sweet.

And now I've got to go! Even e-mail time goes by much too fast! I love you!!

Love this work!
Don't give up on God. His blessings are eternal :)
Love you like a plate full of angel hair and ham steak!

This one is for you mama. Your struggles can be your greatest strengths after you overcome

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Monday, April 16, 2013

Hey Mom!

Sorry I wasn't able to write last week. Our missionary rule is that we must sit by our companions while using the computer. I wasn't able to get one next to my companion so I didn't get a chance to write.
Also!!! I hope you know that I only forgot it was your Birthday after I got off the computer!!!! I was so.."AHHH-ed" Because I had been talking about it all week! Before using the computer! and after using the computer!!! But not during....I was pretty upset with myself. Please know that I forgot only while I was on the computer talking to you. I promise.

And as for the doctors. They found out that my stomach lining is inflamed :( I have been put a medication that has already started working :) I feel a lot better physically but mentally I am still having some troubles. Whatever has been happening has caused me to struggle memory wise and I randomly get a really hot forehead and feel super confused. It's weird...But I do feel better than I did last week.

In other news. I have two companions now! Yep! Sister Anderson from Oakdale, California has joined the Kirtland sisters and boy...has it been interesting. 3 girls all together is pretty scary. Sister Anderson is one week away from going home. Her and Sister Heimbigner are soul mates it seems haha they really get each other. While I on the other hand have become the odd one out. Which I'm OK with...just one more week until transfers. I can survive.

I'm really sorry that my e-mails have been so lacking these fast few months. I just don't know what to write. I've never been very good at this life documentation thing. But I continue to try and know that I will get the hang of it. It's something that I want to start praying about.

One thing that has really been tough with these tummy problems is that it has made me more selfish than usual...this is a big problem! One of my favorite traits as a missionary is the fact that I thought so little of myself and so much about the people. But since I have been feeling so yucky I have been very self centered. I just hope and pray to be able to get my mind set on the right things again :(

And Mckenzie She has gone through the temple. My heart is about to burst just thinking about the sweet spirit that she felt that day. Meeting the new endowed Kenzie will be such a privilege. And Kelly wants to go?!!!!? woooohoo!!! She should! that would be the best!! We need to get some of our boys on this missionary band wagon!

In the package you are sending can I please get some more hair stuff and grandma's mountain dew apple turnover recipe? 

But alrighty, mama. Again..I'm sorry I missed your birthday, that I haven't sent info for grandpa's 80th and that my e-mails have been so lazy. I'm just going through a tough time. But I will get back on top of things.
I hope you can forgive me. And remember..tough times are only opportunities for us to grow closer to our Savior. SO in that way I am very grateful for these trials 

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Monday, April 1, 2013

From: Jade Swayne <>
Subject: Re: So....
To: "Penny Paxman" <>
Date: Monday, April 1, 2013, 12:14 PM


My first missionary Easter was good, thanks! We went to this thing called the "Sunrise Service". It's a big time Kirtland tradition. And after attending for the first time I can see why everybody loves being a part of it; it was wonderful! There was a big ole choir performance and a speaker from 1st ward. It was a whole stake thing so there were a bunch of people there. Then we had two sacrament meetings to attend. Lots of musical numbers. Then we were invited to dinner at a nice couple's home in 3rd ward. We had turkey, rolls, salad, potatoes and some cheese cakey thing with home grown raspberries and peaches plopped on top. It ALL looked so yummy but I just stuck with salad, turkey and plain fruit with out the cake just to be safe ;)

And about Wednesday. It has actually become the highlight of my week because I will be drugged...haha It will be nice to be able to shut my brain off during that time. I am also very excited to see if they can find out what's going on in there. And, no, I haven't mentioned being tired but I did mention that I feel weak; basically the same thing, right?

Wooohoo! Kenzie buying G's!!! That's the best! I love the thought of her having that Priesthood power in her life. I, myself, have become like grandma. I believe it was her that would comment on how strange it felt not to wear them at any given time. I feel the same now! It just doesn't feel right anytime I don't have them on, even if it is for a few minutes.

The time that I am training is 11 weeks rather than 6. And yes, that time is almost up. We have about 2 or 3 weeks left together. Can you believe it?!!! Regardless of feeling yucky, the time is still just flying by. I will hit 7 months here pretty soon.

GENERAL CONFERENCE? YES! I am very excited to hear what the prophets and apostles have to say. What do you think the theme of this round will be? I'm thinking "Christ like Attributes" :) Don't forget to write a few questions down and take them to conference! I can promise you from past experience that if you will watch with an open and teachable heart you will receive the answers to those questions. I promise! I will be watching at the Stake center. We will invite investigators and less-actives to attend :)

Oh! Also, will you please have Kylie go through the past e-mails that I've sent and edit them on the blog. Edit out any content that could identify a person that we are teaching. Our Mission President has asked us to keep that kind of information out of our emails. They could pose a legal threat to the security of our investigators. So the sooner you could do that the better. Thank you!

Ok, Nathan Welker has officially received a "top-ten coolest mission calls I've ever heard" award. That is so great!! There is a young man in 3rd ward that received a call to Jamaica! And another in 2nd ward who is going to Sweden :D Awesome, huh? I'd say so.

And yes, I received Patti's e-mail. I'll see what I can come up with :):) I can't make any promises though. It's tough to find time to think about other things let alone write it down.

That has been the biggest struggle lately. Trying to deal with these health problems and put my whole heart into the work. Simply because I feel like my tummy issues have made my thoughts very selfish. Like, I think about my pains and what I'm going to do to get better rather than what I can do for our people. It is a REAL struggle because it hadn't been a problem for me to get out of my own head and get to work until these tummy problems got worse. Now I'm trying to push through it, but honestly I don't think that is what I should be doing...I should instead focus my energy on getting better so that I can be the best missionary possible. But resting in the mission field has proven to be much more difficult than I ever imagined. It's hard to lay down when your work is never done. In the end it's just my hard hardheadedness and pride that are getting in the way. I just need to chill out and rest or I will never be able to get back to the missionary level that I had been at before.

So, please, keep me in your prayers...I need them at this time. The adversary is trying to shake me up...I know it. But with your prayers and the Atonement always at work I know that this too shall pass.

Until next time, I love you!!

Thank you for the birthday list and the nice letter, Grandma and Grandpa :)

Annnnnd Thank you mom for the Easter box. Those Granola bars come in handy during the really busy days :)

Monday, March 25, 2013

Monday, March 25, 2013

Ay Little Big Mama :)

I love you. You are the only mama that I want. Temporally and eternally.

How is my best friend this week? Well I hope. I am fine :) This week has been a test of my patience, no doubt about it. But I know that all of these trials I'm going through are good for me. They are making me stronger, I can feel it. I am amazed however that I can feel this change because I feel that more than ever Heavenly Father is helping me to recognize my longer than long list of weaknesses. But while I feel worn down and beat up, I feel so many new strengths being created within me; it's amazing. It makes me think about that scripture that talks about the Lord giving us weaknesses so that we can be humble. I KNOW that this is true. HAHA, boy do I know that this is Gospel truth! He is humbling me big time! And it hurts so good. I feel like turning myself over to His care was the best choice I've ever made. That He is a much better builder than I am. He is ripping out my old carpet, knocking down my unneeded walls and basically changing me from a shack to a mansion; It's absolutely amazing.

But my procedure is on the 3rd, the day after your Birfday :) Speaking of which, please tell Grandmama happy late birthday. Can I get a list of all the April birthdays in your next e-mail, please? 
Also, thank Misty for the card that she sent me. A piece of advice that she gave really helped me out. Also I found my wallet!!!!!!!!!!!! I will tell you what happened next week, I only have 5 minutes left.

I will get that Bank of America card from the church this afternoon as well as the America First card :) 

Thanks for getting in touch with Sister Batt! I will be excited to show of the pictures of my colon :):):)::

But alrighty, Gotta go! We're off to Wal-mart and then hopefully we will have time for a quick nap. In your prayers this week will you please ask Heavenly Father to help my companion...she is REALLY having a tough time. Will you also pray for me to not be so sleepy. To have more patience with my companion and the ability to enjoy my time with her...right now, that's kind of tough. But I believe in the power of prayer :)

I love you more than cereal. And you know that's a lot. ;)

Keep in touch and please tell Jack that I haven't forgotten him!!

Love Sister Swayne

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Monday, March 18, 2013

Hey there, mama!

Thank you for your prayers. I can feel them. I go to bed some nights and can't believe that I made it through another day. I am happier than I have ever been but I am also more tired than ever. But when I say that I can feel those prayers, I mean it! I just have this feeling in my heart that even though you and the rest of the family are not here with me physically you are still here in other ways. I don't miss all of you in the way that makes me sad or homesick, I miss you in the way that makes me want to work hard because I don't want one second of our time apart to be in vain. Does that make sense? I hope so.

It's so clear that the experiences that I have had prior to my mission have been preparation for this great 18 month adventure.

The cash that the mission office loaned me has been able to provide all that I've needed, so no worries there. They take such good care of us out here.

We had another baptism this past Saturday!!!! Do you remember Roxanne? Welp, she was the lucky lady :) It was so great, mom. She was so confident and sure that this was the right thing. She has struggled hard with addiction but through her willingness to overcome and follow up on the Gospel teachings we have shared with her she is now a full blown member of the true church of God and already has plans to go to the temple :) What a joy this work is! What a blessing it is to be here with these wonderful people! I love them in a way that I never thought I could...They are usually the last thing I think about at night and the first thing I think about in the morning. I have even been teaching the discussions, baring my testimony and praying in my sleep. haha it's crazy how deep this work is sinking into my heart. Missionary work truly is the BEST work. Nothing compares to these feelings...

Thank you again, mom for the hard work that you put in at your job each day so that I can be here. Thank you family and friends for all the support and prayers, again, I can feel them. I am so sad that 6 months of my mission has been taken by the clock, but rest assure that I will be working hard this next year that I have to serve here in the NMFM mission.

I love you all. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for any of you.

Please take care grandma and grandpa. You will never know how you have blessed my life by being my second set of parents.

Until next time, Love Sister Swayne.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Monday, March 11, 2013

He-lu, Mom.
Well before I get to far into this, I'm going to answer those questions
1. Yes, we do get the Ensign. BUT it would be nice to have a double seeing as I have this person in one of our wards that I want to send no name mail to with nice articles in the mail. I would rather have my own copy rather than cutting up the copy that my companion and I share...that wouldn't be very nice.
2. Haha...well, I workout in the Foutz's garage. I either ride the bike or run in a circle about the size of your bedroom...actually, a sewing room sized circle. Then I lift weights and do pullups on the bar that's connected to the weight bench. It's pretty awesome! Dad said that he was sending me some workout equipment to spice things up a bit.
3. We have been loving that Native American CD that you sent. We have probably listened to it about 10 times now. So some new CD's would be nice. We really like the one you sent. It gets us in the Native Spirit ;)
4. We eat at members homes almost ever night. Last night we went to Whitney and Cheryl James's home. They are so AMAZING!!! We had Salmon, fresh pineapple, winter squash!, and Salad with Avocado in it...pure heaven. And YES I like Salmon.
5. And about the bread...I would eat it if it didn't kill my tummy :( She can send my loaf over to Gil English if she wants ;) haha Love that guy.
Ok, well, that was fun. Send some more of those questions anytime! I know I'm not the best at answering your questions when they're not in bullet format and I want to be able to keep you in the loop.
About the lappy top. I think it's just the fact that my laptop is an 09 Mac. and the old Macs don't respond to the new Mac chargers. So try finding an 09 charger at that Mac store if you go...I think that should solve the problem. Thank you for putting so much effort into getting that charged up for me. Much appreciated.
Bah!! Mom...this Gold's Gym's probably driving you nuts!!! I'm so sorry that I wasn't better at asking questions and figuring out what the contract really said...but again! thank you for helping me out.
And I'm over here just shaking my head thinking "What in the world?!" when you tell me about all these ladies hurting themselves on ice and roller skates and all these other contraptions! Tell them to PLEASE be careful, goodness!
Kenzie sent me a really nice email telling me about her temple date and such. I am so so super excited for that girl! She is going to be fantastic.
Hope I write enough...I never know what to much happens in a week. I could write for 3 hours and still have more to write.
OH! also. we are no longer over 3rd ward...we will be over only 1st and 2nd now. I cried at our last 3rd ward council meeting. I love those people so much. And then they asked us to bare our testimony since it was our last sacrament meeting yesterday. Do you think that I could keep the tears back...? I'll let you answer that question yourself...haha. wow...Missionary work has turned me into a ball bag. I fall in love with these people so easily and just spend all day thinking about them...then when you have to leave them. it's just really tough.
But until next time, This is Sister Swayne, over-ing and out-ing :)